Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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