Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
