Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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