All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
