Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
