Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
