i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
