i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
