It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize