she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize