Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize