There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
