he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Randomize