seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
