Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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