Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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