so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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