so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
