Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
