we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
