if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
