I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
