your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
