You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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