I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
