I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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