in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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