You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
two words...techno handjob
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize