My nipple is on Facebook.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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