no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Too much gin, very little bucket
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
