I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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