I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We got so high we made milksteak
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You may now shotgun with the bride
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
