She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
babies were throwing up all over the place
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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