I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My vagina just clenched in fear
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
