Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
