Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
