I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
