he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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