The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
