there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
