pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
