For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize