Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
