Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
