11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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