I don't usually arrange sex via text message
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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