Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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