its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
