She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
