True but thats because hes a fetus.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
