if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
