is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
