That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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