Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
